Mid-Life Crisis.. of sorts

For those of you that don't know, I am a journalism major. I've had that major going on two years now, I officially started it the end of my sophomore year (because they forced me to find a major). 


I feel like I'm one of those people that have hard time finding one specific thing I want to do with the rest of my life, you know? 


Recently I went through, as the title suggests, a mid-life crisis of sorts. Hopefully I'll live past the age of 44 so this won't be "mid-life" but you get my drift. 


I just woke up one morning and thought, "Ugh, I don't want to be a journalist." Seriously, I don't want to. I never really wanted to anyway, I just sort of did it because I had to do something. 


And now, here I am, a senior in college and I hate my major. Yeah, that's not good and I know that. Okay, I don't hate it. I just don't love it. I feel that college is supposed to help you figure out your life. Instead, mine just screwed me up. I don't know what I want anymore. Well, that's not true. 


It's been my dream since I was little to do something with books, whether it was to write them or edit them or whatever. I want to be a book publisher. I want to be able to be able to find those stories that stick out to me and help them reach people. "Touch people through the written word" if you will. 

But now, I'm just lost. I can't seem to find the path I'm supposed to be on. This man is me. I feel like I'm standing at an crossroads and I don't know which way to go. 


There are all these signs telling me to go this way, go that way. But where does it all lead? 


I want someone to sit me down and say "Morgan, now this is what you want to do with your life and this is how we're going to make it happen. Just sit back and let us do all the work." I would agree and be on my way to a life that I knew I would enjoy. 


Sadly, I know life does not work like that (no matter how much I wish it would). I can keep hoping and praying that it will all work out or I guess I could do something about it. But what, is my question. 
I just don't want to try something and fail at it. I hate failing, seriously. Yes, I understand we all do it, but still, it kind of sucks. 


I just don't want to fail and end up working a job I hate. I want to find myself. My management professor, Ewest, said that in order to be happy, you need to find a job that fits you, helps you develop as a person. Don't take it for the money, take it because you like it. 


I think I like this man. I need to talk to him some more. He's smart. 


No matter what, I know that I don't want to be in a place that isn't right for me. I'll look and try other jobs out, but I know when it's not right. You just know these things. You know when you're unhappy. 


I suppose that's enough of my late-night ramblings for one night. 

One thing I know for sure: I don't want to end up here, in the middle of nowhere. No one is around for miles. 


That would just get lonely. 


Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.  -Henry David Thoreau

The best years of your life

We are wild and young

We have just begun

So slow it down you move a little too fast

You take a deep breath, you make this last

These should be the best days of your life

So right, so right, tonight

I said we are wild and young

Oh, we are wild and young

Well, her free fall came a little out of the blue

What happened to the days of doing what we wanted to do?

I really, really like this song. A lot. 

I think it inspired me to write this because, well, 

because people my age are taking life way too seriously. 

So many have recently been getting engaged, married, 

thinking about children. 

We have our whole lives to do this! Why now? 

Can't we just take our time? 

What's the rush? 

I know people always say 

"Well, we don't live forever." 

Yeah, I know that. Thanks. 

But still, we do have a life 

so let's LIVE IT!   

A "friend" of mine got married this summer. 

Before we even started our senior year. 

Why? 

Because she's crazy. As is her "husband." 

So weird. 

But seriously.. why now? 

Don't you just want to live? We're young, let's act young! 

"We are wild and young." 

The guy in this song is like me. 

What is the point of settling down right now 

when we're just going to uproot ourselves 

and find jobs. 

Now, we can worry about just us 

instead of us plus one. 

We need to live like it's our last day, every day  

to its fullest. 

I'm just afraid that by settling down early

these people are missing out on some many things. 

We're in college! Let's experience it. 

                 I really like this quote: 

Not to sound corny or anything, but it's true. 

These people are missing out on some 

important rights of passage. 

It's college. Come on. Seriously? 

I'm on the Radio

For real, this girl right here is on the radio.
I have own radio show!
Every Monday, from 6:00-7:00 PM
If you want to listen, go http://www.kwar.org/
and click listen live. It's a hoot.
My friend and I talk about awesome things
and we're quite hilarious.

We talk about Justin Bieber a lot.
Mostly because he's hilariously awful.

That was all I had to say.

Nerd Convention

Okay, I know that might sound a little mean, but seriously. 
I'm sitting in a lounge, which is for STUDYING and these people.. 
only to be classified as strange, nerdlike, or annoying (pick one) congregate 
in the middle of this lounge. Where I am trying to do my homework. 


The way this one girl talks just drives me crazy. She sounds like she's permanently congested. 

Oh my dear lord, they're clucking like chickens. God help me. 

If I prayed, do you think they'd go away?

What I think is funny is that they were dissing Homecoming, while here I sit, with my 
Homecoming committee shirt on, representing the very thing they're making fun of. 
Oh wait! Now they're making fun of Minnesota accents. Awesome. What jerks.


There are five of them, four girls and one guy. The nasally girl, one in a hat 
(when it's 70 degrees outside) and way too bright of a sweater, the loner girl who doesn't talk, the ring leader, and the guy. 


Oh wait, they left so it's all good. I guess that mean I should get back to my homework. 
I missed most of their conversation because I was distracted by a person, who has very nice teeth. Seriously, I can't believe how nice his teeth are. That's the first thing I notice about him every time. Strange. 


He told me to stop being so mean. Sorry, but it's true. They are very annoying/strange people (the group, not nerds in general). Actually, to be quite honest, I'm sort of a nerd. But these people weren't nerd-like, just annoying. So happy Chris? I apologized. 


I suppose I should get back to my homework, since I got to rant about stupid people. 


Do you like how I go from serious blog to fun blog to whatever the hell I feel like it blog? yeah, me too. 

The Only Exception

Maybe I know, somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways

To make it alone

Keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable, distance

And up until now

I had sworn to myself that I'm

Content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

- Paramore, The Only Exception 

I know the above song lyric doesn't match the picture, 

but I really like both of them a lot. 

That lyric speaks more to me than the rest of the song 

since I have not found that "only exception" that hayley sings about. 

And the picture just makes sense to me, 

this man gave up everything he had for this one person, 

and he got shot down. He lost everything. 

Which is unfortunate. 

Do you ever feel that way, like you give everything up for one thing 

and then it falls through? 

I've put myself in this man's place many times. 

I've put myself out there, for everyone to see 

and just get disappointed. 

And the thing about life is that you have to keep doing this

over and over and over again. 

That's just the way it is. 

Sometimes I just wish things were different, you didn't have to be 

vulnerable 

and susceptible to others say and just live your own life. 

But that's impossible. 

If you've found a way to do that, then you should let me know. 

I'm always open to suggestions. 

I'm waiting for Prince Charming

I grew up just like every other little girl. I loved watching Disney movies and seeing those princesses get rescues by a handsome prince. At one glance, they were instantly in love and during the whole movie, the prince had to save his princess from evil.

I think Taylor Swift was on to something when she sang "White Horse".

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale. I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet. This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it's too late for you and your white horse, to come around.

Well, I've seen a lot of guys in my life and I haven't had that one moment where I just knew that he was the one like Cinderella and Snow White did. I have been waiting for the eye contact, the spark, the music. Waiting for my Prince Charming to show up on his white horse and sweep me off my feet.

I must be reading too many romance novels because deep down I still believe that there is a guy out there for me, just one, and someday I'll find him. In a quirky, romantic way like they do in all the books I read. But logically I know that Prince Charming is not real.

Sorry girls, it's true. He does not exist. I'm not trying to sound cynical, but then again maybe I am.. a little. We are all looking for the same thing: a handsome, funny, smart, sweet, sensitive (but not too sensitive) man that will burst into our lives and save us from whatever evil is happening to us, be it an evil landlord or a wicked co-worker. Someone who'll love us for what's on the inside as well as the outside, on our good days and when our hair looks flat, make-up or no make-up. That about covers it, right? Well, God ladies, that's sort of hard to find!
I'm looking for that guy too. We all are. But how many of them are there? That aren't taken? That aren't gay? Yeah, we're getting into low numbers here. So what, the man your with isn't perfect, none of us are. Well, I'm done waiting.


 I'm not a princess and life is not a fairy tale. We have to understand that Prince Charming is not real (neither is Edward Cullen or Jacob Black) and move on with our lives. I know I can't wait any longer for my knight in shining armor to win my heart with his smile.

I'm not some love advice columnist, trust me on this. I've had such little luck with guys that I can't tell you anything about love. But I know enough about life to tell you like it is. I'm not going to hold anything back just because it doesn't sound nice.
As women, we can do one of two things. A) Keep wishing on shooting stars and hope things will change or B) Make the changes yourself. I understand that some things are harder than others, but you just can't sit around in your ivory tower and wait. Open that door, defeat that dragon and live your life.
But I still wish on stars, just in case. It never hurts.. right?

(If you're a guy, I'm not hating on you. You may be Prince Charming. Hell if I know)

whoa..phone blog!

okay, so this is different! I'm on my phone, but it's not anything fancy like an iPhone or something. I'm kind of in shock. that explains the lack..sort of.. of capital letters. it takes to much effort.
I made a list of my favorite movies and wanted to