My weird dream

SURPRISE! 

Hello there, dear blog. I didn't do my monthly post in September, but that's what happens when a girl is busy, okay? Back off. 

And yes, I've been super busy. Being a sports photographer (both football, volleyball AND cross country), a writer, a designer and overall awesome person takes a lot of work. Trust. 

Anywhozle, I'm not writing this blog to update you on my life (which I just did), I'm writing to you about my extremely weird dream last night. More like a weird sequence of dreams. 

Here it goes: 

I went to sleep around 11:30 last night. I was tired from the football game and I just wanted to go to bed early (that's early for a weekend). 

I haven't been dreaming very often - or at least, I'm not remembering them. But these were different. These were.. especially weird to me. 

I don’t remember much from my original dream. I was sitting in a recliner, feet propped up, talking to a boy. I don’t know who though.  I felt like we were in one of my Sims houses.. weird, right? Anyway, two of my nieces come barreling into the room from the right. K – 11 and T – 6 hop on my lap, crying. I ask them what’s wrong, they say nothing. B – 7 come into the room from the left and is very upset. She hops on my lap too (it’s very crowded) and tells me her mom is mad and she’s crying. At that point, their mother walks into the room from the left and turns to me. She points at us and says ‘You’re little brother is dead and it’s all K’s fault.’

I wake up immediately. I looked at the clock and it was 4:00 a.m.. Okay, that’s was really weird. But I’ll go back to sleep. I grabbed my pillow and went back to sleep.

The only part of the next dream I remember is me and my sister-in-law discussing how we had the exact same dream the night before – the dream I just wrote about. All she remembered was walking into the room and yelling that her son was dead because of her oldest daughter.

Weird right? I dream about having the same as someone else?

And those aren’t the only dreams I had last night.

Apparently I’ve been watching too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer because I had a dream about that last night too. Except I was part of the Scooby gang as a witch, just like Willow. I was trapped at the apartment with a girl I went to high school with. Except, we weren’t really trapped. This part of the dream is really fuzzy. I remember going making several men appear in the apartment. We were looking for the right suitors for us when my magic backfired and all those guys started chasing us. That’s when the other Scoobys showed up. Giles was yelling at me because I was using magic for the wrong reasons. Willow was trying to help me make all the guys go away. The fight went through the town, under some buildings (weird again) and finally ended when we found this interesting magic wand that could do anything. ANYTHING. So we made all the guys disappear (at this point, some of my favorite Youtube stars showed up – like Shane Dawson, Jenna Marbles and Steve Greene) and we all chased the guys and got rid of them. But then we started using the wands to make our lives easier and Giles got pissed again and took it away.

That was the end of that dream.

My next dream takes place at Disneyland. It was a sort of competition and me and my friends were the judges. These two people (who looked like two kids in the high school I cover for my job and I see all the time) had to carve this new area of Disneyland out of trees. Morgan (yes, her name was Morgan – again, weird since that’s my name was well) made a jungle gym area. I remember it wasn’t very challenging. It seemed her area was geared toward little kids. I’m trying to remember the inside of her shop area. Inside the doorway, there were sculptures of Goofy and Donald Duck in kayaks. Inside was filled with Disney toys. The walls were full of sculptures of Disney characters. I can’t remember details. I do remember this one chair shaped like Mickey Mouse’s head – ears and all. That was fun. And it came apart, on purpose. I don’t know.

The other guy built an elaborate jungle gym and you had to go the right way to make it through to the shop. It was hard. And you had to go fast.. or maybe you didn’t have to but we did because we were racing. I’m not quite sure. Anyway – his shop area was huge! And it was like a flea market, but with really nice things. And there was a upper loft area full of people dressed up as Disney characters.. except Spiderman was there too – that’s not right. But there was a room off the side labeled junior’s area and I went in there to check it out and it wasn’t finished. Major points taken away. Boxes were sitting everywhere full of merchandised to be sold. Naughty Naughty dude who looks like a high schooler.

In the end, she won. They tore his down and Morgan’s got to stay in Disneyland.

Then I woke up. Very confused. I've never even been to Disneyland. 

FYI - I just Googled 'funny dreams' and a ton of pictures of Taylor Lautner showed up. HOW MUCH SENSE DOES THAT MAKE? 

That would be totally freaking cool! 

August. Woot.

It guess it is not time for my monthly post. You know, I have all these grand ideas in my head, what I want to write about, how often I want to write.. but then I never do. 

WHAT IS WITH THAT?

Okay, that was basically me yelling at myself. 

Unfortunately, this blog post will be short, due to the fact that it is currently 4:53 and I leave work in seven minutes. Seven! I am very excited by this, as you can tell with the appropriate pronunciation. 

Anywhozle, life is going as life goes. SUPER FREAKING FAST. I am in a state of shock, that August is more than half way over. Like, it just started Father Time, so slow your roll. 

It is now 4:55. MUST TYPE FASTER. 

Except when I type fast, I make more mistakes. Therefore, I have to delete more which takes up even MORE time, precious typing time. 

So yes, hello blog. I've miss you. Have you missed me? Probs not. It's okay, I don't hold it against you. 

What has been happening with my life, you ask? Well, let me tell you. 

I have been SUPER FREAKING BUSY these last few weeks, but I love it. I'd rather be busy then be sitting here day in and day out, sorting papers and listening to Justin Bieber on my iPod (though yes, that is what I do on my breaks). I have recently become a sports photographer and I LOVE IT. I have been to a total of one football game for work, but what a game it was! Okay, not really. My home team lost. Bad. But it was still awesome. To be on the sidelines, that close to the action! 

It is now currently 4:58. I must go. I know, this was so short. I'm sorry! I have to shut down my computer, gather my things, clock out and get the hell outta dodge... work... whatever. 

Peace. 

P.S. Look at my picture!

I took this picture. Me! I did it! I was very proud of myself. I didn't get run over or tackled (though yes, there were a few close calls) but it was awesome!!

America's Birthday

Happy Fourth of July one and all! 


Can you image a group of guys getting together 236 years ago and signing the piece of parchment that would shape our country into what it is today? 


Yeah, me either. And they all wore powdered wigs, which is uber weird. I wonder if they were all secretly bald. 


Anyway, do you ever wonder what our world would be like today if something had gone wrong that day in 1776? Would I be British? Because that would be pretty sweet. 


I love this holiday. I love the way people gather together to celebrate our freedom, honor those who help defend it. My favorite part is the fireworks. 


When I was little, I was absolutely terrified of them. And yet my parents took me to them every single year and I would cower on my blanket and cry when the big ones went boom. 


As I've grown older, I learned to love them. Now my favorite ones are the big ones that go boom.


I'm the type of person who gets very emotional. Whenever towns have fireworks on the Fourth of July, they play "I'm Proud to be an American," I freaking tear up. I know, talk about corny and sad but it's true. I just think about all the American pride that happens on that day, everyone together to celebrate our Independence. It's amazing. 


If only it weren't so frreaking hot! It was 100 degrees today. That's crazy, insane even. And I had to cover a local celebration for my job and I think I sweated buckets and buckets. It was gross. 


That was all that was really on my mind today. 


God Bless America :) 

A secret

Even as I'm re-reading this, I'm tempted to delete it. Honestly? I'm afraid of what people will think of me. It might seem like I'm the kind of person who lets stuff just roll off my back. I usually am. But there are a few things about me I keep very close to the chest, afraid of what people will actually think about me once they find out what it is. This is one of them. But I think it's something that I need to get out. So, here it is. One of my close-kept secrets. 

Once a month

That is seriously all I ever post. Once a stupid month. 
I really have goals for myself when it comes to blogging. 
"I will do one every week" 
"I just have to do it more often. This is ridiculous" 


But do I ever do it? No. 
The usual excuses come to mind: I'm too busy, too forgetful.. blah blah blah 
The real reason? I feel like I don't have a lot to say. 


I'm not going to go all emotional and stuff on you, so don't worry about that. 
I am literally so exhausted so my brain is shut off. Like - not functioning anymore. 
You have no idea how many times I've hit the backspace button already, and 
I've barely typed anything. I live a sad life, what can I say? 


So, I have this Google Drive thingy-ma-jing now on my phone/computer and 
I type little snippets of stuff on there whenever they come to me. 
I only have two things on there right now, but I thought I'd share them with you. 


1) I recently attended my cousin's son's firsf birthday party. Seeing my cousin take on the job of motherhood is simply amazing, but it also makes me realize how we all have grown up and are adults now. We all have our own lives, own jobs and responsibilities. Its crazy because I remember when my cousins and I were little and we would have so much fun together. I would go over to my aunt and uncle's house and we would all play barbies in their basement. We would play hide and seek on their farm and pet the cows. My other cousins would visit from Minnesota every holiday and it would be so special. Now, they never come down. I haven't seen or heard from them in over a year, I think. One cousin lives 3.5 hours away in Southern Iowa with her husband and son, one lives in Des Moines (with her fiance) and the other goes to school in Indianola. Its been awhile since we have all been together, in one place all at once. I miss it.

This is hilarious. Seriously. Read it. Are you reading it?
They are all true. I think. 

Being an adult is not everything it's cracked up to be. When I was little, all I had to worry about was which Generation Girl I wanted to be in my group of friends, which Polly Pocket I wanted to play with that night and how many girls did I want to invite to my birthday party. Now, I worry about how I'm going to pay all of my bills (on time) and afford to fix my car, why does gas have to be so expensive, the unrest overseas, war, am I ever going to move out parents' house, should I get a second job.. things like that. I miss being a kid. I miss the fun I had, the laughter, the free-ness. High school and college? Don't even get me started on the things I miss from those days. Don't even. I could write three blog posts about it.


2) **I recently went to some stock car races and this little book starter popped into my head. This is literally how some of my stories start, with just a sentence or two**
Its Friday night and I am in my favorite place in the whole world. No, not the football field or out in a bar. It's better.

As I sit in the bleachers, the low roar of the crowd gets me excited, the adrenaline flowing. Everyone is waiting for that green light. Then it happened.

The rumble of engines hits me down to the bones. My seat shakes and my teeth rattle as modified engines groan under pressure.


I think it has potential. I will make it awesome. Don't worry. You'll get updates. My other story? Well, it took a back seat when I got a job and tried to get my life together. Now that it's sort of together, I'll start it again. I'll write two at once! Don't think I can? Mmhmm. Just you wait. 


What else is on my mind? A special trip I have planned to see one of my very best friends. The other is coming back from England soon and I couldn't be more excited about that if i tried. I miss all of my friends. Lots of other things but I can't put words to them right now because of the whole "brain shut off" thing I've got going on. I'll keep you updated.. MORE THAN ONCE A MONTH. 



Til then. 

Dreams..

I have been having some pretty strange dreams lately.

Not the kind where you wake up as a carrot or you're being chased by a large hamster (both of which I have dreamed of), the kind that seem really.. well, real.

Two nights ago, I dreamt I had an arranged marriage. Yeah, talk about coming from left field.

My husband's name was Sam, he was a red-headed, attractive guy and I wasn't complaining about having to marry him. It was the fact that I had no part in planning my wedding whatsoever that got me so upset (during my dream). I had no idea what my dress looked like until I tried it on the day of my wedding. I didn't even know if there wasn't going to be a pastor there to marry us. I was completely clueless. And, on top of it, my dad drunkly walked me down the aisle. It was horrible. I don't remember anything other than that. I just remember being extremely upset the whole day. And poor Sam was completely clueless.

My other dream also involved marriage. I was married to a friend from high school, who shall remain nameless. I did have a very (very, very, very) small crush on him in high school, but that was almost five years ago. I got over it. And I just saw him a couple of months ago and that crush did NOT return, let me tell you. He's still as weird as he was in high school.

Anyway, in my dream, we were married and lived on a beach with my best friends from college and their husbands. I distinctly remember us driving in a car somewhere, but I don't know where. I hate how I don't remember now, when I did with great clarity this morning. Ugh.

But why have my dreams been focused on marriage and the future these last couple of days? What is going on inside my subconscious that is making me have dreams like this?

I Googled "dream interpretations" and then looked up marriage, engagements.. etc. Here's what I got.

Wedding

• To dream of a wedding indicates your life is about to change. An aspect of your waking life is ending, but another is about to begin. In many cases, you may feel negatively about the wedding you see in your dreams. This is typically meant to bring to mind a fear or anxiety from your waking life. You may have some feelings of sorrow, or a loved one may soon pass. Conversely, it may indicate a fear of commitment. Consider your relationships; are you getting ready to take one to the 'next level?' Are you scared to do so?
• To dream of a wedding dress foreshadows new and exciting experiences. You may meet people who you will grow to cherish as valued friends.
• To dream that you are engaged to be married suggests your desire for intimacy or companionship. You could be attempting to quell your sense of isolation. www.dreamforth.com

Are you the type of person who believes dreams actually have meaning or are they random thoughts of your subconscious? I am... on the fence. 

Sometimes life is just...

Complicated. 

I've decided that I will never be happy with anything. Take this, for example: 

For the longest time (okay, only a few months), I was unemployed. And I absolutely hated it. I felt useless and like a total bum. Well, honestly, I was. But then, miraculously, I got a job. 

I love it. I've also recently (effective yesterday) got a promotion and I'm both completely freaked out and excited at the same time. I love my co-workers, I love my boss. Seriously, it's perfect. 

But.. yes, there's always a but. I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. At the same time, I'm not. And that makes no sense, right? Yeah, hence the complicated and confusing brain thoughts. 

I think it might just be being an adult that is the boring part. I don't have any fun anymore. All I do is work. All of my friends have moved away, leaving me alone and sad. Okay, not really sad.. just a little bit sad. 

Here is my day, in a round-a-bout way. Ha, that rhymed! 

I wake up at 6:30 every day. I got to work at 7:45ish, depending what is on the Today Show. I get caught up in a story sometimes. 

I work until roughly 12:00, when I get an hour lunch break. I go home, watch CNN and eat lunch. I go back to work, work until 5:00 or so, sometimes 5:30, make supper and watch TV the rest of the night. Or I might have to go take pictures of something for work. 

That's the fun part, going to go take pictures of things, like concerts and such. It breaks up the doldrums.. 

I love my job and it's different every day, so the doldrums is not my job. It's just my life in general. I miss babysitting my nieces and nephew a couple nights a week. I miss going to my friend's apartment to watch our favorite TV shows. I miss going on random shopping trips/movie nights with said friend. I miss people. Ugh. 

Sometimes, I miss college so much it hurts.I know that sounds kind of strange, but I would go back in a heartbeat (if I knew after graduation, I'd have the job I had now. That's the catch). I loved being around my friends all the time. I miss my roommate with a passion of a thousands suns. I miss being able to go downstairs and hang out in the common area, go to the cafeteria and laugh hysterically with my girls. Oh my god, we'd have so much fun. 

This blog doesn't really make any sense. I just had to get out what I was feeling. That's what I'm feeling, a mixture of longing, nostalgia, boredom and contentment. That is weird combination. 

I've already decided that this is going to be one of those blog posts that I write about something completely random. Sound good? If not, get the hell out. 

Ha,  I just kiddng. Come back, come back. It's a joke?

This is one of those moments when I know I should blog about something, but I honestly have no idea. I haven't written a blog in about twenty or so years, I thought right now should be a good time to start up again. What do you think? 

(all of that was written with a British accent in my head. Why? I have no idea.)

I think I might need to sleep more. I am bloody tired and it's 11:36 p.m. That could be because I get up every day at 6:30 a.m. and right now, I'm usually asleep. But I have tomorrow off so I'm pulling a rebel move and staying up. Crazy, I know. I'm going to stay up to midnight! Okay, that might too crazy. I should take it down a notch or two. 

Two notches later.. I'm still here, typing away.. thinking, will this post every have a point. The answer? Probably not. But that doesn't really matter now, does it? No, Morgan, it does not. 

Question: Do you think the Girls Scouts of America put something secret in their cookies that make them so delicious and addicting? Because they are like a drug to me, I can't stop. I keep looking at the box and telling myself, "You don't need them. You don't, not really. Just leave them there." Then I rationalize with myself. "Well, you bought the stupid cookies, are they just going to sit in the box forever and rot?" I can't have that. It would be wasted money. I hate wasted money. So I eat one. "Okay, just one. Well, maybe two. But that's it. No more. Put it somewhere you can't see it." Like that does any good. I still have the delicious taste in my mouth and I knew where I hid the damn box. SO I find them and usually eat four more. Yeah, I live a sad life. 

Question: When is it/will it ever be appropriate to call a former teacher by their first name? I see my teachers all the time and I don't call them by any name because I don't know what to do. I'm secretly panicking inside, hoping they won't say something that will make me say a name because I won't know what to do. I'll freeze. Do I call them Mr. SoandSo or just plain Dude? I have no idea. Completely clueless. Surprise, surprise. 

That is what was on my mind today.These thoughts, and that stuffing newspapers with insets is quite possibly the worst thing ever. Yup. 

I think I simply wrote just to say I wrote something and get off by back about it okay, I'll write when I can/want to! but then I realize that no one was hounding me about a blog post so that was just me yelling at myself. As per usual. 

Don't judge. 

Friends are the bacon bits...

in the salad bowl of life. 


It's true. You have life, which is kind of boring, with the lettuce that is work. The croutons which are your family, kind of crunchy and weird, but good. Then you have your friends, the bacon bits, the most amazing part, but maybe not always the best for you. But still awesome. 


I just got off the phone with the girl that I've known the longest, my best friend in the whole world. I've seriously known her since preschool, and we're still friends. How often does that happen? Most people lose touch, but not us. Sure, we don't get to talk to each other as often because we're both busy with work and we live almost two hours apart so I hardly ever see her. But still, We just talked for two hours on the phone. 


Do you have one of those friends who no matter how much time goes by, you start talking to each other like you just saw each other yesterday. Like no time has gone by since your last conversation, since the last time you saw each other. It's great. 


Then I have friends who.. whom.. I met in college and are amazing. I certainly changed when I went to school, becoming more outgoing and comfortable with myself. They got to know the new me, the one that I liked too. We all went through some great times. They're amazing people and I love them all to death. 


I just wanted to write this blog to get my feelings out about my friends and how amazing they are. Sure, they're all spread out now, around the state, country, and the world, but we're still friends. Thank God for the Internet and cellphones because without those things, I'd talk to no one. And I'd be sad. 

Friends are awesome :-)