Officially not a child anymore

You've heard it here first. 
I am no longer a child, a teenager, a college student. 
I am a 23 year-old college graduate and there's no going back. 


A lot of people find it hard to believe. 
I dare say that I am one of those people. 
How did this happen? 


How am I so.. old?    
Ugh, 23.               (celebs who are 23: Adele, Aaron Carter, Blake Lively, Snookie, and Hilary Duff!)
I keep saying in my head that I'm 21. 


That ship has long sailed. 
I guess I now realize that we're all growing up. 
Life goes on. 


This isn't something new to me. 
I've known this for awhile now.. 
That life goes on and people get older. 


But I just never thought that I'd be this old. 
Maybe I would be like Peter Pan and never grow up. 
As a child I couldn't picture myself as an adult. 


I still can't. 
Maybe it's because I'm living with my parents. 
Working a part-time job. 


The work force scares the crap out of me. 
So does paying rent, buying groceries, being responsible. 
Seriously, kids have no idea how lucky they are. 


When we're young, all we care about is playing outside, 
video games, toys, friends, food, and homework. 
At least, that's what I liked when I was young. 


Haha, when I was young. 
I sound like I'm 60. 
Anyway, back to what I was saying.. 


Kids can be so care-free, have no worries or responsibilities. 
They just live and have fun and do whatever. 
And sometimes do homework, if they want to. 


But now, as an adult, it's kind of overwhelming. 
All of a sudden you have to do all of this stuff 
and pay all of these bills and BE AN ADULT. 


And I guess right now I just feel like I'm wandering. 
But according to J.R.R. Tolkein, 
"Not all who wander are lost." 


So that gives me hope, I guess. 
I'm not lost, I'm just confused about what I'm going to do with my life. 
Will I find a job that I love, or even just like and tolerate. 


Get my own apartment, decorate it, cook for myself. 
All things that adults do. 
I just can't believe I am one of them. 


Enough of that rambling.. 
In other news: 
1)
A member of my community was diagnosed with colon cancer not long ago and the prognosis is not good. When I delivered pizzas back in high school, I went to his house at least twice and week and he was always one of my favorite customers. He is such a nice man and has a wonderful family. 


Sometimes I wonder why these things happen to SUCH good people. I try to put my faith in God but it's just not fair. I'm not going to get into the whole religion thing, but this is one of things that always cross my mind. How am I supposed to believe in a God that lets things like this happen to people like Kenny, my aunt, my grandmother, and to millions of people around the world. But then I get these moments where I just know and feel there is a God. I find it all very confusing. 


I just ask that whoever reads this, please pray to whatever God you believe in, or just think about him if you don't believe at all. 


2) 
In sad but not has horribly sad as the above, my dearly beloved iPod, Filbert, has gone missing. I suspect he is gone forever and it saddens me, deeply. I loved that iPod and now it's gone. That is a picture of him, he was a deep purple and had almost 1,500 songs in his memory.  If you find him, you must let me know immediately. His last known location was in my pocket at Riverside Lutheran Bible Camp (ironic, with #1 and all - one of those moments I felt he was real). 


3) 
I'm going to be posting a list of random facts about me. Why? Because I can. I'm currently creating a list. Because I'm bored. 


4) 
I think I'm actually going to sit down and write something soon. Book/short-story related. Watch out for that.