Back to High School

Meet my high school, a place I called home for six years.
From 6th to 12th grades, in this one building.
They were some of the best times of my life.

When I started my job at my hometown newspaper a year ago, I knew there'd be experiences that I would have to deal with when they came up.

It didn't cross my mind then, but one of those experiences turned out to be walking back into my high school after leaving it five years before.

I was assigned to go take pictures of the high school art show. Something pretty mundane, right? Well, it should be been.I remember walking into those front doors, into those hallowed hallways and was instantly brought back to the days when I was walking to class with my friends, not having a care in the world.

Remember those days? All I had to worry about was studying for my next Algebra exam and whether or not the boy in my Biology class ever noticed me.. which he didn't. I didn't have to think about bills, grocery shopping, rent or whether or not my milk was okay three days after it expired.. which it wasn't.

When we're kids, all we wanted to do is grow up, be an adult and just leave high school as fast as possible and onto something bigger and better. Now that we're adults, we think about going back. How we could redo things, relive our glory days and just be young again.

And every time I go to a high school event, which I do a lot, I look at those kids and think of the futures they have in front of them. Where are they going to go to college? What will their major be? Will they stay in touch with their high school friends as much as they promise to? Will they succeed? I was in their place once. I remember how terrifying it was, how unsure of yourself you are. Now that it's over and gone, I wish I could go back and relive some moments.  

I recently attended a high school boys track meet and it definitely brought back memories for me. For those of you who don't know, which you shouldn't, at my high school, my best friend and I were the boys track managers. Those track meets were some of the best times of my high school career. We had the best times on the bus, at the meets and during practice. Those moments are the ones I'd like to relive. Me and my best friend, together in the same town, having a blast and being carefree. We got to check out really cute guys and hang out with great track coaches.

When I was taking pictures of the recent track meet, I hunted those coaches down and it made me even more sad. They're still the same great guys and I really wanted to be part of that group again. I saw their current managers sitting in bleachers, like we used to, covered head to toe because it was freezing, and just having a blast. I wanted to be them again. I wanted to be in those bleachers. We were almost in that exact same spot six or seven years ago. We were those girls. But now we're not. We're grown ups.

I guess going to that track meet really made me reminisce. Being back in that high school, where I walked across that stage, accepted my diploma and was excited to get the hell outta dodge, really makes me miss being that age. I know that it was six years ago and there's no going back, but I know that I'll have the memories forever.

When I go back up to the school now, I just smile and think about the times I spent there. I see the kids walk through the halls and picture myself there, walking with my best friend to our lockers and talking about boys. Being young and carefree.

Though I love reminiscing, it's time for me to focus on the life I have in front of me. Though yes, it can be hard and stressful, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I say that I wish I could go back, but if given the opportunity, I really don't think I would. That time of my life is over and it's time to be in the here and now.

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”